You just made me feel so damn special
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
