Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
