you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
