She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
