It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
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