Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
