I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
How external is "for external use only"?
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
