I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
