Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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