if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
