Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
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