If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
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