I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
