You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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