I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
