nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
