the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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