last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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