I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
