i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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