She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
