you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize