Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
