i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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