he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
