you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
