so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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