no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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