she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
