Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
