from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
