i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
