oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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