kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
How's work?
Spinning.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
