i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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