You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
