My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
