C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Randomize
