atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
