I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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