I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I supernannyed him into submission
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
