we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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