There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
