i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
