May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
