I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Porn is love you can see.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
