Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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