I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
