I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My feet surprised me
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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