hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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