She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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