dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
