I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
