I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
