tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
