Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
