I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
