If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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