she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
