okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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