He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
