i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize