his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
