And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
