I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
