Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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