we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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