just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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