Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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