oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize