just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
