i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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