This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
